Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Thoughts from Cliff

Let me start off here by being clear. With respect to our impending move; we ARE going. We ARE happy about it. We ARE excited about it. We believe it IS the right decision for our family. We WON’T change our minds.  With that said, this week has been a bit of a funny one for me. I think it has been festering for a few weeks, but after we hit 100 days to go I think things caught up with me.


There are a few things which have sown some seeds of hesitation into our plans. Perhaps “hesitation” is too strong of a word but is the best my meager vocabulary can muster – again we ARE going – but I think my point is made.


There are a few things which are contributing to these thoughts. I am struggling to find the words to adequately explain my thoughts, so bear with me as I ramble. Hopefully you can read-between-the-lines and interpret my thoughts.


We are moving without jobs, and although we are confident we will be able to find sustainable employment before we use up all of our savings, you never know. Combine that with my recent promotion/pay increase, and the large salary deficit we will be enduring is quite apparent. Of course we are not moving back for financial reasons. But a major financial hardship is about to be bestowed upon us, and giving up so much raises doubts.


I think both Mayzie and I would agree that life in Colorado Springs has started to actually improve for us over the last four months or so. Perhaps this is because Tim is getting older and less demanding of our time. Part of the reason for us moving is to be closer to family. We have essentially had no family help (as a result of us moving to the US) since we have had kids.  So the notion of us moving back now the kids are getting older and easier is a bit oxymoronic. That’s not to say we won’t want, or need, help but the “early years” are now behind us, and those of you with kids know what a challenge that was.


The last few months has seen us getting either more friends, or perhaps a more accurate statement would be, closer with existing friends. Prior to this it didn’t feel like we did have many friends. We all need friends, friends would have been a big help when the kids were little. I’m not making excuses, or even complaining per se. There are several reasons why we didn’t/don’t have many (close) friends here. The details of which are not terribly important, and most of which are likely our doing. It is a bit odd but even after having lived in the USA for most of my adult life, 14 years, I still feel like many of my best friends are “back home” (I wonder if they feel the same?). Perhaps that’s because they knew me when I was a kid, I’m not sure. Either way, it is weird that we are leaving just as things appear to be changing here.


 These were just a few of the things on my mind. Not a rant, not a way to change our minds, not really anything, just some things going on in my head.  On the flip side, there are some things which we will be happy to be leaving behind. And although we are not running away from these things, it is a little weird that we can leave a couple of the chapters of our lives here Stateside and can start new when we go “home!”


 Cliff

5 comments:

  1. Doing what's right for your family is not always easy and moving can be a scary adventure (Jess and I moved to VT on a whim both passing up promotions and better financial security to do so). You and Mayzie are two amazing people and I have no doubt that this new chapter will be one amazing adventure in all of your lives. We look forward to seeing you all when you travel through Vermont and our door is always open.

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  2. Jessica, Thanks. That was just what I needed to hear. Words of encouragement and empathy with my fear(s). We cannot wait to see you, all three of you. Just a few short weeks away now. We will let you know exactly when we will be in Jeff when we do, there is some issues to resolve first (but pencil in 7/22 - 7/25) Cliff

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  3. I think you guys moving and being able to move like you are is scary but an adventure not many can say they've done. I say if it's what is right the then go for it. For a couple years now I've been thinking about moving to colorado to "get away" from kansas but it'll be another year before I'm able to. You guys moving to the UK just gives me a reason to visit. My home is always available to you. :)

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  4. Cliff,
    I've been following (I heard this was in the pipeline ages ago...that Royston grapevine ;)) on facebook. Being in a similar situation as yours on the other side of the world I can relate to your views on the friends you have as kids will alwasys be your friends. I've been in Oz 16 years and bringing up kids with no family at all is so hard. I know it's our decision to live here and have children but that doesn't make it any easier. We are lucky that we live in a very family friendly suburb but I have gone out of my way and out of my comfort zone to make friends at playgroup, kindy or school. So we now have some great friends and funnily enough lots of them are English! However, when we went back home last year my friends from school were all there and we caught up as if we hadn't had 5 years between visits. I'm sure you will find the same thing will happen. You and Mayzie are doing what you feel is the best thing for your family and that's the most important thing. And what an adventure! I hope we can catch up when we go back next (goodness knows when that will be though). Are you moving to Royston? ANyway, that was a bit rambling but I just wanted to let you know I completely understand your reservations, I think I would feel exactly the same. Take care, Nicole

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